Thursday 9 October 2008

Aid is not for some

What the fuck is going on in my head? It all seems so confused. I don't know what is all is any more. Nobody seems to tell me why I can't deal with any pressure anymore. Noone seems to understand why I feel like this. Is it only self-esteem? Am I seeking out attention? The why all the anger? Why can't I email people/keep in contact/etc?

Nothing seems to make any sense anymore. Doctors don't understand and are more obsessed with preaching than actually saying anything useful. "Low self-esteem is a form of arrogance"- thanks I know; I'm all self-obsessed with my loathing (in case I forget). They're more interested in the books I read than what I actually feel.

And what is with the okay days versus the awful days? Why are some days alright whereas others are so horrible that getting up, moving or doing anything at all becomes incredibly difficult.

There's nobody who understands and I feel so lost. I don't want this to continue. I need help and I don't know where to find it.

7 comments:

  1. I'm here. Just email or facebook me.

    Sass

    ReplyDelete
  2. i'm here too. i'm sorry i haven't been quicker on the uptake. email me?

    love anna

    ReplyDelete
  3. i'm here too. i'm sorry i haven't been quicker on the uptake. email me?

    love anna

    ReplyDelete
  4. hey
    i was going through the same things. some days i wake up and still am. this is more advice to myself, but wake up and get up. Start what you are fearing to do and finishing it will be a lot easier.
    And believe in yourself and your strengths. And dont judge yourself by your contempories. And dont be hard on yourself. Encourage yourself.

    Best

    ReplyDelete
  5. hey
    i was going through the same things. some days i wake up and still am. this is more advice to myself, but wake up and get up. Start what you are fearing to do and finishing it will be a lot easier.
    And believe in yourself and your strengths. And dont judge yourself by your contempories. And dont be hard on yourself. Encourage yourself.

    Best

    ReplyDelete
  6. hey
    i was going through the same things. some days i wake up and still am. this is more advice to myself, but wake up and get up. Start what you are fearing to do and finishing it will be a lot easier.
    And believe in yourself and your strengths. And dont judge yourself by your contempories. And dont be hard on yourself. Encourage yourself.

    Best

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey Nish, sorry I haven't been keeping track lately. I can't say I know or understand what you're going through, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, just like others are too. :) I don't know how to help either, but maybe I can give some advice that might sound right to you.

    Enjoy each day, each moment - find something to say "I'm thankful I got to experience that". It helps to brighten the days :) Maybe if you're feeling bad when you wake up listen to some cheerful music, or treat yourself to something nice. :)

    Your friend and ears - Kim :)

    ReplyDelete